Smoova!

38 year old male. Bleeding from the head after an assault. We arrive about 2 minutes after the engine crew does. We were all called here by the police. They've got the scene safe enough for me to enter the house.

I find a guy sitting on the couch, holding a bloody towel to his head. He looks right at me as I come in the door and answers all my questions appropriately.

He's got a 3-5 inch gash on the side of his head.

"Sir, what happened?" I like open-ended questions sometimes, I can get a lot more information that way.

"I come in 'da house. 'Dat ***** went upside my head wiv a smoova!"

Now, being from where I'm from, I know what "upside the head" means. I can see it in my mind's eye. Someone took a big wide swing and hit him in the temporal area (above the ear between the forehead and the back of the skull).

But what the heck is a "smoova?" So I ask him.

"A 'Smoova'?"

"Yeah! A Smoova!"

I look to the firefighters standing around me. They look as puzzled as I do.

"Sir? What's a 'Smoova'?"

"A Smoova!! Y'know! For you clothes!" he makes an arm gesture like he's ironing a shirt.

A "smoother." An iron.

Ok! OW! That must have hurt!

I love my work!

--maddog