I'm sorry that I haven't had time to let you know. I've had a pretty crazy weekend.
At about 1:30 on Saturday morning, the mother of my Very Best Friend, (my wife) passed in her sleep.
She wasn't worked (no tubes, no cracked sternum and no ugly corpse). She had been fighting a cancer that made it tough for her to fight infection. She died quietly and as well as she could. She gave a noble death.
My wife, my best friend in the world, is now an orphan (her father died in 1999).
(((Yeah, What the F***k do I do with that?))) You ask?
Well, she's MINE and I grieve with her. (She's a part of ME, isn't she?)
"What the hell do I do?" you ask?
I'll tell ya: The maddog is on point to support Herself (my wife). It's all about her (and, when she's not looking, I cry for me). The answer: Just keep being my classmates. I value you all as you are and don't stop being who you are.
I'm here to be the best paramedic in the world. I'm sure you all are too. Thank you.
Don't be ashamed if I cry for no reason when I'm talking to you. Don't feel weird when my eyes get glassy and filled with water. Put your arms around me and tell me you're my brother or my sister. That's what I need. We're going to have patients and families of patients who are going to feel this pain. I'm a fellow medic. Practice on me.
I'm gonna miss that lady. She gave me my wife. She made me proud to be in her family. She was a great lady.
Thank you all for having the guts to want to be a medic. Compassion is no small part of what we do. I'm glad to be counted amongst your number."