I'm driving to an accident that's downstream from all the rush hour traffic. This means I have to wade through the congestion on the highway. We usually ride the shoulder if it's big enough. In this case, the shoulders are all too small for my huge ambulance. This is when I get to perform a "Moses."
Just like Moses parted the Red Sea, I drive my ambulance right down the middle of the lane divider. I'm sounding 2 sirens at different frequencies and patterns as well as working a diesel air horn in a way that cannot be ignored.
Just like the Red Sea of legend, the traffic parts in front of me.
Most of the time.
This one instance, an SUV decides to take advantage of the break in traffic that I caused to get over 3 lanes to the exit.
His doing so causes me to stand on the brakes with both feet to keep from making an accordion out of him.
He moves out of my lane. I pull abreast of him and Bean and I look at him.
He's on his phone. He gives me a dirty look.
It's worth mention at this point that the air horns on my ambulance are mounted on the front fenders. This happens to be at almost the exact height of a person's head when they're driving a typical American car or SUV.
I don't know who hit the horn first, me or Bean (we both have a pedal for the diesel air horn).
His window was open.
He almost jumped into his passenger seat. (and he dropped his phone)
Wow! Justice!
--maddog
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