Every Sunday night, Herself and I gather with friends for Sunday Dinner. We usually watch a movie or good TV show afterwards. Lately, we've been watching the second season of "Six Feet Under".
On of my dearest friends, Ms. K, expressed a dislike for the series tonight even though we've seen a bunch of episodes already. As we were saying our goodnights and noting who would be coming next week, Ms K. says to me in an almost private way that she might not make it next week. I ask her why.
"I might have gone and done myself in."
I ask her what does she mean as my heart skips a couple beats
"You know, like the people in this show." she says, indicating the television with the closing credits to the show we just watched.
"Yes, but doing yourself in implies a certain amount of involvement on your part." I say
"Yes, well, you know.." she says and we all go our separate ways.
Now I'm all bunched up in knots. In high school, a classmate of mine had glibly remarked about killing himself one Friday afternoon. The following Monday we all found out that he ate his father's shotgun over the weekend. Am I making too much of this?
Ms. K. is an intelligent, confident and together person. I love her dearly. She is one of my closest and dearest friends. I might be overreacting but I'd HATE to be wrong. She's never made any other indications or given any signs of suicide. She's generally happy. She's also very private. I am fraught with worry.
I've left her a couple messages to call me but perhaps I should tell her my concern. It might be best for me to remind her how dear she is to me and how frightened I am for her. Again, I may be totally overreacting and I certainly hope I am.
I'm still sick to my stomach.